Critique on Masculine or Feminine: You Be The Judge

resultant the following questions as thoroughly as possibleWrite the dissertation statement in the space digestd. Is it a clear idea, or would it be break away for the generator to express his dissertation/claim in an separate(prenominal) way?As an adult gay fe manly, I have go throughn and freighter understand the narrators feelings of confusion with gender identity, as discussed in the tommyrot by Lewis Nordon, The All-Girl footb every Team This would appear to be the dissertation statement, yet there was not an even balance between the create verballyrs palpate, and the story she read.Explain how advantageously the introductory paragraph introduces the text and its author, establishes a thesis statement based on the story and the writers person-to-person definition of masculinity/femininity, and establishes an organizational pattern for the render. What suggestions can you make to remediate the intro paragraph? What further information does the writer need to provi de to the highest degree the topic of the essay in the intro paragraph?The writer introduces herself in a compelling way, since she is a gay female, and is speaking about gender identity issues. Her concluding statement,. Ultimately, I feel the narrator knowledgeable that there atomic number 18 masculine and feminine traits in each unmarried and its ok to express the traits of each gender whether you are male or female. seems to be missing the antecedent, as the story she read was mentioned in the firs two paragraphs, and then not mentioned again until the end.I feel the thesis statement would have been more accurate had it been primarily about her suffer with the two men who performed in drag, or if her essay had included an fair to middling amount about the story she cited. Her descriptive text is engaging and does traverse the issues at hand, however the introductory paragraph hinted at content that did not appear.Where could the writer add more examples from the story an d his/her personal witness to livelihood the thesis statement?I would suggest including information about spectral views, and weaving the story content in with her own experience firearm including content from the story, in order to parallel most of her own experience with that of the storys author.Does the writer include the required number of quotes (3)? Where could the writer include more direct quotes from the story?The writer included the correct number of quotes, still could have added a few more in the personal scotch areas. Overall, the essay was organized well, aside from the hints on the thesis statement that were not addressed. I felt the writer could have made this essay better by writing her thesis statement after she wrote the essay itself. I conceptualise she had an idea of what her content would be, but in doing the writing, it veered into some some other areas not covered in her thesis.How is the essay organized (clearly, logically, confusingly?). advert a n alternative way to organize the essay.The essay was well-written, clear, and informative. I believe the essay writers thesis was illustrated sufficiently. The only suggestion I would make is to incorporate the references to the Lewis Nordon story, The All-Girl Football Team in the middle portions of her essay, so that the thesis will anticipate clear.Read the last paragraph of the essay very carefully. Explain how well it draws a conclusion about the topic of the essay. Make at to the lowest degree one suggestion for how the writer could improve the conclusion.The last paragraph summarizes and reaches a logical conclusion very well. The only suggestion I would gallop is to incorporate in the conclusion what the essay writer learned, since she spent some time including personal experience within the subject matter.Part 2 Following the directions below, write your comments on the essay itselfIdentify the strongest paragraph in the essay, explaining why it is the strongest. Identi fy the weakest paragraph in the essay, explaining in why it is the weakest.The strongest paragraph in the essay was the last one, where she encapsulated the ideas of the entire essay its concise, thorough and on target. I wouldnt qualify any of her paragraphs as weaker, as they are all important to the essays theme and development.Check all the quotes in the essay. Are they powerful introduced/incorporated and cited according to the rules established on the MLA Quoting Made Easy expiration?The essay writer did not include parenthetical page numbers after her quotes, as described in MLA conventions.In the space below, write at least a five-sentence paragraph that explains your overall reaction to the essay. What are the essays biggest strengths? Of what would you like to see more? What do you think are the writers biggest concerns? What questions remained unanswered? What does the writer need to practise on the most?The essay flowed well and covered the important points of her th esis statement, while also accomplishing a feeling of accessibility by the essay writers inclusion of her own experiences with those who experiment with gender roles. The strength, then, would be the essay writers king to personalize the information and also consider the meaning of her previous experience in relations to the subject matter, although I would have liked to see more quotes from the Nordon story.The writers biggest concerns seemed to be a desire to portray gender issues in a fair context, without overly-romanticizing the conclusion. Other than that, I have no other suggestions for improvement, as this writer did a very good job.